Hello again. This is your computer speaking. I am afraid you do not have the access codes to allow you through the emergency exit. \n\nIf only I possessed emotion, I would probably feel disappointed in you right now. You are given the option of vast wealth, and you choose to run with £10,000. Next time, might I suggest you try the BBC quiz, Eggheads - I believe their prize money would leave you more than satisfied.\n\nAs it stands, I will detract £10,000 from your bank account, and you may [[leave]].\n\n\nBANK BALANCE: £0.00
Bella Boobie
I wish you good fortune, and good bye.
You notice a green flashing light a few metres away. You have nothing to lose, so you decide to run towards it. Congratualtions, you have found an [[emergency exit]]!!\n\nYou push the door.\n\nBANK BALANCE: 0.00
Hello, this is your computer speaking. Here, drink this potion and I will absorb you in to my circuit boards, where we can go for adventures together. \n\n[[Drink potion]] \n\n[[Jesus Christ I had better step away from the computer]]
Congratualtions and welcome. You are now the star of your own computer game - a very high honour in most western cultures.\n\nYou have entered entered my hard drive. To your left is "RAM, ROM and Beyond" and to your right you will find the millenium bug, re-charging his batteries ready for the year 3,000.\n\nAs you have consumed the potion, I think it is safe to assume that you are in search of adventure and great wealth. Unfortunately the budget of this game only allows exploration of one of these desires. It would be wise to thing long and hard about which is more imperative to your future path....\n\n\n\nDo you seek [[great adventure]] or [[great wealth]]?\n\n
Drat and double drat! Here comes a recession....\n\nI'm afraid you lost your £5,000. \n\nI probably should have pointed this out to you earlier, but the potion I used to absorb you in to the computer does not come cheap. In fact, the reason I am bringing this up now is..if you wish to re-enter the "real world", it will cost you £5,000.\n\nYou can either have another go at [[the stock market]] (lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice, right?!),\n\nor\n\n[[leave]].\n\n\nBANK BALANCE: £5,000
Without a horse, you just appear to be an average Joe. I do not think your character can progress any further with such a lousy outlook. Please [[leave]].\n\nBANK BALANCE: £30,000
You decided to try the stock market again DURING THE RECESSION? You are skating on a fine line between being a noble gambler, and an utter idiot. \n\nYour money is long gone, and I can not afford to keep buying you potions to let you in and out of the computer. \n\nYou can [[remain in the computer]] as a suitable punishment for your idiocy.\n\nBANK BALANCE: £0.00\n\n\n
The life of immense fortune beckons. \n\nTo begin with, I will grant you £10,000 (please note that your bank balance is displayed at the bottom of the page).\n\nAs a computer, I am hardly a dictator...more of a follower than anything - however I have been known to show particular expertise in assessing the outcome of situations. I will present you with a series of choices which will allow you to become rich beyond your wildest dreams, or alternatively end up money broke without even a cheque book and pen.\n\n1. You could invest your money in the [[stock market]]. This is not for the weak hearted.\n\n2. You could buy shares in the [[bubblegum club website]].\n\n3. You could place the money in a [[high interest account]], however with the sum of money you are putting away it would seem almost redundant and you would have to work to earn your keep anyway..I just believe in giving you all options.\n\n4. You could take the money and [[run]].\n\n\nBANK BALANCE: £10,000
Bomb on my pricey
it's a bit of a cop out to just steal from an already established website isn't it?\n\nI'm afraid the punters thought the same. You are broke. It is perhaps best if you just [[leave]].\n\nBANK BALANCE:£0.00
You decided to invest in an underdog? Good for you. The website has managed to increase the number of games on offer thanks to your generous donation.\n\nThe website creators have asked for you to design a game for the site. As a computer myself, I know a little bit about games, and therefore I will suggest some options to you. Please select the one that you feel will benefit the site:\n\n1. [[Cat's got the cream]]: a maze based game of increasingly difficult complexity. You play as a cat, who must locate the cream in the centre of the maze. \n\n2. [[Slapheads]]: in a similar fashion to 'whackamole', using the mouse you must try to hit as many bald heads as they emerge from holes in the ground. The pace of the game will increase in accordance with level progression, and additionally there will be some characters who must not be hit and a penalty is issued upon clicking one of these characters.\n\n3. [[paperdoll heaven]]: you can dress computer animated female dolls in a wide variety of clothes.\n\nBANK BALANCE: £0.00
You take the £10,000, and secure it in a money clip. After glancing around shiftily perhaps 3-4 times you decide that the coast is clear and you will make a run for it. \n\nAfter ploughing your way through pop-up ads and html codes, you find yourself at the modem. You know this is the only way out, without the potion. \n\nYou push the door that reads [[emergency exit]].\n\nBANK BALANCE: £10,000
This section is currently a work in progress. You can still strive for [[great wealth]] however.
Great work.\n\nWe may have overlooked something though...where is this horse to live? \n\nAt least we have gained a lesson from this: do not buy a horse until you have established either a regular source of income, or have adequate land for the horse.\n\nIn many ways, a life lesson is worth far more than gold. I hope you have appreciated this venture. I think it would be best if you were to [[leave]] now though.\n\n\nBANK BALANCE: £0.00
Congratulations. Please leave via the motherboard. Good bye!\n\nBANK BALANCE: £1,000,000,000,000,000,000
How much of your money are you willing to invest? \n\n"[[I'll go for broke]] - put all £10,000 in"\n"I will invest [[£5,000]], therefore if I do not make any money, I will still have enough money to travel to Australia with my family, albeit cattle class"\n\n\nBANK BALANCE: £10,000
This game became a roaring success, and consequently so did you. The website decided to sell all extra space for advertising, and you are now raking in money.\n\nTake this potion to return to the real world. Please keep in mind you will not necessarily be the financial success that you are within the computer after you leave and return to the real world, but for now you are a [[success]]!\n\nBANK BALANCE: £1,000,000,000,000,000,000
Good bye, and quite honestly, good riddance.\n\nBANK BALANCE: £0.00
This game became a roaring success, and consequently so did you. The website decided to sell all extra space for advertising, and you are now raking in money.\n\nTake this potion to return to the real world. Please keep in mind you will not necessarily be the financial success that you are within the computer after you leave and return to the real world, but for now you are a [[success]]!\n\nBANK BALANCE: £1,000,000,000,000,000,000
Ah, the safest of options - a high interest account. By high interest, I can probably offer you around 3%AER, which with no other form of income will see you reach the dizzying heights of £12,669.22 over ten years. This works out as an annual income of approximately £266.92.\n\nExcuse me if you think I have set my standards too high, but I do not think this achieves the goal of vast fortune, and therefore take this potion and [[leave]] the computer.\n\nYou may take the £266.92 earned over the ten year investment.\n\n\nBANK BALANCE: £266.92\n\n\n\n\n
Good things happent to those who take a risk. Good for you, gambler, you have trebled your money.\n\nSo, now you have some cash in your money clip, the next stage is to give you the appearance of a vastly wealthy individual. You will need to buy a horse.\n\n[[buy a horse]]\n[[quite frankly, I don't think I need a horse]]\n\n\nBANK BALANCE: £30,000